A box on a high shelf....*

Soul baring moment....
Sometimes it's hard to look at the people of your past... ones that you thought were so amazing, ones that you invested so much in and thought would be in your life until you were old and gray. You thought you'd be friends forever, that nothing could ever tear you apart.... and suddenly, they are so far away. Broken promises, crushed commitments, different priorities... and you realize how far you've grown apart. You no longer care about the same things, and no matter how much you try and invite them to things, take an interest in their life, show them that their friendship is still important to you... they never call, they never text, and seem to not even know that you are still there... caring from afar. Birthdays are forgotten, memories fade, friendship disintegrates.

What to do?

Put them in a shoebox with kindness and care, place them on a shelf in your heart. Always able to look back with fondness and be grateful for the times they were there, and the moments you spent with them in your life. Then take a deep breath, close the closet door, and give the space to those that want to be there. Give the love and attention to those that make an effort to be with you in your life, those that want to share your moments of joy, help you in your moments of need, and be your friend in all definitions of the word. Instead of giving your love and energy to those that are no longer present in your life, break their commitments, and always seem to be somewhere else, give to those who would love to be given that kindness and attention, who would love your friendship and treat it with respect and warmth.

Life is so short. Spend it with those who value your contribution in their life, who will push you forward to greatness, keep their word, and expect the same from you. Those that you can give yourself to, who will value you as you value them. The people in our lives are what make living so special.... let the ones go with love who no longer contribute and keep the ones who make it sparkle. You deserve it. Live with intensity, give your all, and surround yourself with those who do the same. Your life will instantly be enriched, and you will feel free.*

I do not need the government to force me into being kind, just, charitable, and selfless... I can do that all on my own. I need a government to give me protection, justice, freedom, and opportunity. I must admit, I'm so sick of people thinking that the government should take the place of being a good and successful person, and that everyone deserves the best. The best is earned... Worked for... Chased after. And being a good person with morals comes with experience and a drive for self improvement. You cannot give any of that to someone, no matter how many leg ups you give them... They have to want it for themselves. So instead of constantly looking for a way to make everyone equal and make sure everyone has their fair share, let's be a nation that encourages greatness and supports those who strive for advancement... Let's lead by example and offer opportunity to be better instead of asking for things we aren't willing to work for ourselves with an entitled attitude. Take personal responsibility and work for what you want... It is more charitable when you give away what you have worked for not what has been taken from you in the name of "leveling the playing field".

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country..."*

I count Ewe Tw!ce

He is seriously the sweetest. I go to lunch today after a hard morning when the guinea pig I had taken on as my pig, passed away. There was the sweetest hand written note under the wiper from him telling me how sorry he was and that he loved me. Then, after a hard afternoon, I come out to my car, get in, and there is a watermelon Arizona drink (my favorite!) in my cup holder and a king sized roll of both sweet tarts and starburst on my seat....

When I count my blessings, I count you twice. I love you more than you know, and each day with you is a gift. Thank you for all that you are, and all that you help me to be. 

Pray for Aurora: Live life appreciatively*

After watching a lot and seeing many posts about the tragic events so close to home, I feel extremely compelled to put this out there. 

It is easy to be concerned in and touched with the tragic events that occur. Tragic events are apart of the human condition. But ask yourself, besides feeling better that you prayed, that you gave your concern and condolences... are you living that which you speak? Are you kind to those around you? Patient and loving? Do you do things for strangers and love your community without needing such a cause? Sure it is easy to talk the talk, but if you truly care about your fellow man and the suffering, live better yourself. Have more patience with your kids, your partner, your family. Do good for those who have nothing to offer you in return. Treasure your life and the lives of others. Make someone else's day for no reason other than you care. So many feel torn up and so concerned, yet go and live their lives in the completely opposite fashion of the words they speak. If you want to do something for those that lost their lives or the families they left behind, give of yourself to make your community better.... to make yourself better. These times of grief are times where we should be reminded to treasure our lives and those we love, squeeze every moment out the special times we share, and remember to always strive to be the kind of person that leaves the world better than when we got there. And eventually, we all will leave this earth. What will you be remembered for? What will be your legacy?

Let us not only think of those lost in terms of this one event out of many that made them who they are, and let us not do them the injustice to be just a name associated with an event that was only a fleck of time in each of their beautiful lives.

Live every second as if it were your last.. because this event has given us just another cold reminder that it could very well be.

Our prayers are with you Aurora.

Tough times don't last, tough people do.*

It's hard to talk to yourself out loud. But sometimes I think it's a necessary evil of life. After all, if we didn't talk to ourselves, who would we talk to? Sometimes I feel like the walls are closing in. I wish I knew how to make this better, but unfortunately I do not. I feel like I've lost and gained so much over the last six months of my life that it is almost impossible to rectify, but in the end, am I supposed to rectify it? Sometimes, God has a bigger plan I suppose. Right now, his plan is very unknown to me and while I am not meeting it with resistance, I am definitely apprehensive about what I do not know.

At this rate, I can only imagine where my life is going to be in six months from now. I start school on January 17, which is only about a week away. It'll be an interesting semester and I'm even taking some interesting classes! It's funny to see how our lives change, our priorities grow, and what we lose in the process. I feel as though I'm coming up on a new frontier in my life and I am slightly afraid that I will be left not knowing who I am. I worked so hard to be where I am at and part of me feels that this positive change could really impact my life. However, positivity is definitely a relative term. Once the other shoe drops, will I really believe that it's a positive change? What job will I have? Where will I be in school? Will I still want to do all of the things I had planned for my life? Right now, it's just too hard to tell.

In Beachbody, I can definitely say that I'm starting to feel accomplished. However, that seems to be the only area where I feel that way. Change is a hard thing to swallow. Sometimes it makes you wonder where you're going to end up, who's going to be with you, and what you're going to do to get to the next place after that. I must admit I'm feeling kind of lonely. All of my RadioShack manager friends are obviously still at RadioShack, with the exception of a few, and we all know that at RadioShack, you don't get much time to spend with those you care about. Part of me feels like I should be happy about this. After all, I get plenty of time to do the things that I've been wanting to do for months that I could never do at RadioShack. I get to work out when I want to, sleep late, do lots of things for my friends and family, and get to spend plenty of time with my pets. But somehow, there isn't the same sense of purpose that there was before and definitely not the same amount of pride in my accomplishments. Beachbody definitely consumes most of my day because it is where I feel my life is the most meaningful, but I post so much that I think I'm annoying the crap out of all of my friends! LOL!

Feeling lost is not something that I am used to. I'm used to having plenty of control and direction in my life, and right now there seems to be very little. I have been finding lots of little things to take up my time, and take up my time it does. I do laundry, I do my Turbo Fire, I clean, I take care of pets, I help family and friends, and do lots of little miscellaneous things that I've been waiting to do for so long. But when I look back and think of all the things that it feels has changed, I don't even recognize my own life any more. It sounds funny to say, but this series of unfortunate events has actually made me happier than I have been in a long time. Boy, don't I feel guilty for saying that! How could I be happy? Unemployment got denied, I lost my job, my poor rabbit of 14 years is on his last leg, and my very best friend who is trying to support me is absolutely out of his mind with stress. Beachbody has quenched my need for achievement and for purpose, and I spend a lot of my time supporting people that I don't know but care so much about. The time just flies by and I wish that I could do this forever. Of course, I can do this forever, I just need to find something to pay the bills. I don't want us to drown in debt and poor Travis is doing everything he can to make sure that everything is taken care of. I think it puts a hamper on our relationship, our lifestyle, and most of all his happiness.

Most of all, I can definitely say that I am confused. How can you not know who you are or what is going to happen to your life and still be happy? Well, I guess I really do know the answer to that. It is about choosing to be happy. It is about choosing to live in the moment, find the beautiful things around you, and be thankful for the little things that are going your way. The truth of the matter is, life is hard. Struggles never get any easier, and obstacles are always going to be in your path. But if you don't stop along the trail to look at the flowers, it's going to pass you by and you'll never get that time back. Right now, I try and take life one day at a time and find all of the beautiful things that I can. Part of me feels like I'm constantly looking out for what's going to happen, what that thing is going to come next, or what's going to railroad my life plans. Right now, so many people are getting married, having babies, getting promoted at their jobs, and just in general finding their groove in life. There are lots of new houses, new last names, new careers, and new experiences that I just seem to be missing out on. Nevertheless, I am happy. I have a gorgeous car, simply amazing mentors, a loving family, a roof over my head, food in my mouth, bills being paid, and the greatest man I could ever ask for in my life. It is so weird to feel this way when I feel that I should be feeling as though I'm missing out. And for just as many babies and marriages, there are equally as many relationship problems, divorce, heartbreak, tragedy, hunger, death, and bad things just happening all over the place in general. Maybe it's okay to not have it all figured out of 25.

As Alice in Wonderland's taught us, you won't know which path to take unless you know where you want to go. While I was still at RadioShack, I used to tell God that all I wanted was time with my family, to become healthy, to take care myself, and to be able to enjoy my life. While the situation isn't obviously the most ideal, in a sense he gave me exactly that. So what am I going to do with it? I am going to build my business through Beachbody and touch the lives of so many that are just like me. I am going to find a job that supports me and not only enriches my life, but offers me financial security. I am going to keep working on my health, both bodily and mental through workouts and personal development at every opportunity. I am going to do everything I can to make my family, friends, and pets healthy, happy, and well taken care of. I am going to contribute to my community, continue to do stellar in school, and make the very most of every moment I have left in this life.

...must be the puppy chow...