untitled*... a piss ass bad day...
Current mood:
cold
Have you ever felt like there's a lump in your throatcoldthat never goes away
like you're on the brink of a meltdown any second
of every single day.
Like the sun is going to set today
never again to rise
like you've spent all your time not dying to live
but simply living to die.
What used to be so important
now just dust dancing in the breeze
musings of what you could have had
like a deep and painful tease.
Regrets of things you once had done
and regrets of whats to come
taunting what~if's of how it would be
if you'd done a better job.
Reminders all around you
of delights beyond your reach
secrets everyone seems to have
but have been unwilling to teach.
Your back mudied with footprints
from being a door~mat for so long
now no longer wash away
and keep you from moving on.
You hide away in spite of yourself
missing out on even more
skipping things you would have done
just a couple of years before.
You let yourself go, thinking
meh it doesnt matter
and before you know it youre not even yourself
just an empty base without a batter.
A world apart from all the rest
on the outside looking in
you wonder if life will ever be the same,
if the sun will rise again.
Your heart feels like its broken
and then you realize once again
that life doesn't make you its victim
you chose that in the end.
You've chosen to spend time not dying to live
simply living to die
you've chosen to let the important things go
and the regrets you have come to live by.
You've chosen to take the good things
as delights out of your reach
You've chosen not to learn the lessons,
ignored those who tried to teach.
You choose to be the door mat
and choose not to move on
you choose to hide yourself away
from things you could have done.
You've chosen to let yourself go
and be on the outside looking in,
but the news here now is more good than bad
choose to start again.
Choose to fix all the regrets you've had
and make it all anew,
be the very best you can be
and let the sun shine through...
its been a bad day... hopefully the sun will rise tomorrow and I'll get a do over :/
... must have been the puppy chow...
Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*
