It starts today*

It starts today*

Current mood:curious

Things come and go. Shit happens how it happens. I'm not going to try to hold on to anything with a tight grip any longer.

Living for others is hard. Constantly trying to do and say and be the right thing. Passing up things you want and deserve in favor of what another. Today I start living for me again. Taking other peoples issues and making them your own is a fast ticket into an early grave.

what do i want? I've had a hard time with that question lately... and i'm on a mission to figure it out. Life is too short to live by anyone elses rules, and to be empathetic is one thing but to make their issues your issues and have it effect your daily life and mind and more importantly your happiness... is just taking it too far.

you can't pour two full glasses into a third and expect things not to overflow ;)

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*

what it takes...*

what it takes...*

Current mood:creative

Life can be very complicated. Insight is always appreciated.

Pain comes in many forms... mental... emotional... physical...

sometimes they blend together so much that you can no longer seperate them into catagories.

Sometimes I wonder what I've been doing with my life the past two years. Scratch that... I've been a mental case for almost four now.

Somewhere along the line I lost myself. To be honest, I think I gave myself away a long time ago and when things went bad... among the pictures and sweatshirts and baseball hats.... I was the one thing I forgot to get back. Since then I have not been myself and it definitely shows.... But then again... what if that's not who I am anymore?

I most certainly think that I want to be something else. I'm tired of being one of the guys instead of "that" girl... I'm tired of feeling like I have no control and no say over what goes on in my life. So many things that I feel I need to change and work towards and restore... I don't even know where to begin.

Physically i'm a wreck. Emotionally i'm worse.

Mentally I'm exausted.

If there was ever a time to need a hero... now would be it.

It could always be worse... I tell myself that everyday. I'm thankful for the people in my life and the things I have... I just know that I need to start doing things in a whole new way.

No day like today.

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*