First rate version of you... Not a second rate of someone else*

First rate version of you... Not a second rate of someone else*

Current mood:contemplative

In life, there is only one you. Only you can build you up... only you can destroy you. You is the only you the world will ever know. It is so important to not allow the actions of others to take that away.

Some will emulate you. Others will emulate them. Its a vicious cycle. But in a lot of ways, its like the boogy man under the bed scenario... shine the light, take away the teeth, and suddenly, the way you once viewed the situation has disintegrated. That includes taking the teeth away from yourself.

There will always be those that want to cut you down... those that constantly want to one up you... and those that stand on the sidelines and secretly fan the flames. They do what you do, go where you go, strive for goals that you have made for yourself all in an effort, it seems, to build themselves up and tear you down.

                                         " ....anything you can do I can do better....."

Recently I have been going through this exact situation. I would catch wind of things that would happen and become absolutely furious. Why me? Why does she have to go there or do that or talk to them? Why does she have to be injected into my life when I have tried so hard to get rid of her? I let someone else so easily take over without any contact in a moments notice. And then I got a wake up call.

People do what they do, be who and what they will be. But when that isn't who they are... people see right through it. Sometimes we ourselves don't think that people understand...that they just don't see. And in the beginning they may not. But after awhile of you doing things and then suddenly having it echo... it becomes apparent to all who are aware of it.

In my case, instead of letting that echo sound off and then fade into the distance, I would encourage it... going more and more insane from arguing with that echo inside my own life.

If you scream into a cave at the top of your lungs and continue to do so, eventually you're going to get a headache. The only way to get rid of that headache is to stop screaming.

Just let go. People can't take yourself away from you. The people that love you recognize that the anger, the hate, and the frustration that changes you. There's nothing that you can do about other people, you only have control over yourself. And when you allow yourself to be affected by factors that you can't control (no matter what situation it may apply to) there is always a significant risk of losing control over yourself... or should i say ALLOWING yourself to lose control. In my case... it just so happens that losing myself... losing what makes me unique has always been a fear of mine...

                                                                      ...what you fear you create.

If you fear losing a special person in your life, often you cling to them and in turn, drive them away. If you fear losing yourself, especially to someone else, you act inways that you don't usually act... in turn losing the person you are in a desperate attempt to gain control of the other person's actions... something of which you cannot control.

The only cure is to let go. To accept.

..must be the puppy chow...

(to my close friends that have helped me find myself again lately... those that love me and help me and stick by me... even when its hard... even through scenarios such as this one (where you have to hear a lot of bitching for a very long time before it goes away) ... to those who listen... put up... and shut (me) up... I love you) 

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*