a rollercoaster in the dark*

a rollercoaster in the dark*

Current mood:worried

it catches in your throat.

you feel like you can't breathe.

your eyes burn and you feel like your heart is going to explode if you move even an inch.

you are determined no one will see the tears...you are too tough for that...

but to fall so hard ... so fast... without a safety net....

to let go completely of all fear and know that you would give yourself completey...

only to be questioned... only to be untrusted...

its like a rollercoaster in the dark...

you can't see the tracks ahead

and you wonder when you're going to run out of road....

always wondering if the next step is going to be your last.

you realize you have done to others as now is being done to you

you feel the pain that it is to care.

Too much... not enough.... too fast... too slow...

...fear of the unknown lurking in the dark makes the right choices

unperceivable and the perception of the monster under the bed

become as real as the sweat running down your face.

Hindsight is twenty twenty...

ups and downs are unpredictable until you've already climbed the hill..

... all you can do is trust in yourself

and know that your heart would not deceive you.

Trust that the next hill isn't going to be the downward fall

where you run out of track to fall into a dark oblivion...

trust that you are not the only one riding in the dark...

... in movement there is life... fear makes movement complicated... be your own compass....

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*