courage: feel the fear... do it anyway*

courage: feel the fear... do it anyway*

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do well people will accuse you of selfishness and ulterior motives.

Do well anyway.

If you are successful you will win false friends and true enemies

Succeed anyway

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway

Honesty and frankness make you vunerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.

Think big anyway

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway

Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.

give the world your best anyway.

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*

... some days you're the hydrant*

... some days you're the hydrant*

i miss being called beautiful...

                            i miss feeling beautiful.

i miss being strong and athletic and independent.

i miss being the trouble maker that wasn't afraid to have fun...

                              i miss having fun.

I miss being witty and tough and carefree...

i miss the days when there was nothing i couldn't conquer... nothing i couldn't have or overcome.

i miss dreaming of good things to come....

                              i miss dreaming.

i miss being the life of the party... the girl that everyone turned to for a laugh.

                              i miss the laughs.

i miss feeling giddy and flirty and boy crazy...

i miss the late night girl talks with my best friends...

                               i miss my friends.

i miss never being afraid of making a fool of myself or going any distance just to help someone feel better.

i miss having feelings about anything at all.

i miss myself.

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*

...check that one off the list :D*

...check that one off the list :D*

Current mood:energetic

so some of my bestest best buddies gave me one of the most awesome awesomest presents ever... here's some pictures we took :D RED WINGS FOR LIFE BABY!!!!

(thats right bitch you just stay down there)

ooooo ahhhhhh....

BEST TEAM EVER!~~~~~

... best present ever :) I definitely have adam and amanda to thank for being able to check that off the list of things i have to do before i die...

.. you guys mean the world to me. I love you both so much and I'm so glad that you guys are apart of my life. I love you more than you will ever know and I am so proud to have friends like you. I love you guys...

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*

yellow roses and mango...*

yellow roses and mango...*

Current mood:contemplative

::sigh::

wow i'm a little tired... a little wired... and just a little... jaded.

i hope all of you are having a great day today  I thought that i would post because i'm having another one of those moments where i feel the need to dump my guts all over the internet 

I looked at an apartment today... it was awesome. I was most definitely excited. I know that at this point... logically i shouldn't... however i really really want to. I would have close to no furniture and would have to live off of top ramen for the next 100 years to make sure i'm steady but it would be a place of my own to call home. I'm going to have to wait until the end of january just because my dad has raised a very guilty conscious yet very monitarily aware daughter... meaning unfortunately i have to do the responsible thing and wait.

This topic... along with many others inside of my head... have literally made me nuts lately. I feel the emotions starting to turn off (as they always do) when i get stressed about this kind of thing. The future is a crazy thing to think about. We all want things to work out to be that perfect life we have always dreamed of having... the perfect job with the perfect pay for the perfect house with the perfect family...

its so hard to attain.

Its funny to look around and realize that there is always a chance that somewhere along the line you are going to make the wrong decision... take the wrong road... and then wake up twenty years later to realize that nothing is the way you wanted it to turn out and now you are stuck with no way to go back and make things better. Its like one of my favorite movies... American Beauty... that is the kind of thing i mean. I don't want to make the wrong decision... take the wrong road and realize its not what i wanted with no way to fix it. No one ever aspires to get laid off or be homeless or any of the million things that are less than perfect that happen every day.

Do the best you can they say.

Well... the best I can... sometimes i worry it won't be good enough. Shoot for the moon that way if you miss you will be sure to land among stars.

Fuck that. If  I shoot for the moon I want the goddamn moon.

Funny isn't it? Life never is what it seems...

... where's the fairytale ending? wheres the amazing wonder and beauty and perfect plan that is suppost to exsist for us?

All you have is you... only you can make it happen... never settle and never look back... you only get one shot to do it right.*

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*

the difference between a boy and a man...*

the difference between a boy and a man...*

Current mood:hopeful

boys. we come across them a lot.

they are the ones drunkenly slobbering on you at sporting events, rubbing up against you at clubs with their only criteria being that you have breasts, crudely cat calling you as you walk down the street (no matter who you are with), and generally annoying the hell out of you and 10 of your closest friends. They are the ones that complain about how long it takes you to get ready yet who spend a good hour longer than you in the bathroom... the ones that have no depth and only seem to care about when they can get their hands on another beer. They can't hold an intellectual conversation to save their life and usually change girls more than they change underwear.

real men are different. those are a little harder to find.

real men are the ones that always seem to make you smile. They are typically found in the same old ratty ball cap they have worn for years just because its their favorite. They are the ones who are in line ahead of you at starbucks and pay for your drink without taking any credit for it or asking anything in return. They are the ones that kindly listen (or at least lovingly pretend to listen) about your horrible day... even while the game is on. They are the ones who think that you're beautiful in sweats, take care of you when you're sick, kiss you with morning breath, and realize you have a heart and a mind behind all that preening. Real men accept people for who they are, love unconditionally, and support growth in those around them.

You can always tell the real men from the boys when you look close enough. They don't care about whats new and exciting and are much more enthused by what they have always loved... teams from when they were little ( no matter how bad they suck ), good food and friends and know that its the little things in life that make life worth living. Boys could care less about where they are going in life, know nothing of their long term goals, and live only in the moment with no care for the future. Real men appreciate the moment but want to strive to be better... to be smart and healthy and be the best possible person that they can be.

So to the girls that say  "where are all the real men!?" Look a little harder.... they are all around... you just have to know what to look for ;)

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*

The Storm*

The Storm*

Current mood:thoughtful

The rain beats down like sheets of glass

thunder over head,

coming out of the thickest fog

like rising from the dead.

The strength within immeasureable

adrenaline runs deep,

a mountain of mud you thought you'd never climb

now isn't quite so steep.

The battle scars of long ago

now worn with silent pride,

remind you of your living strength

that's burning deep inside.

Spirit of a warrior

blood streaked body torn,

for each new enemy rising up

is a hero to be born.

Lightening illuminating terror inside

from the things we would never face,

there comes a sense of knowing

that no horror could replace.

It takes a strength not known to all

to make it throught the storm,

some will never know what its like

to be battered... to be torn.

But those who have lived through it all

know the value that it holds,

to keep your spirit bright inside

and make it through the storm.

Every person has a choice

to fight or just give in...

without a little fight for life

what was great would not have been.

So have faith in your ability

to make it past the fear,

embrace the knowledge that you have

to make your journey clear.

Hold fast to your sword of dreams and hopes

to chase away the pain,

of the thunder clashing over head

and beating of the rain.

For once you make it through the storm

you will be so new

grown and wise with courage beyond

in every thing you do.

So fight the good fight and do all you can,

take the risk of being torn,

because until you do you'll never know

the value of the storm.*

psh.. what a bunch of bullshit*

psh.. what a bunch of bullshit*

Current mood:cranky

So i absolutely hate feeling like i have no control in a situation that has an awful lot to do with me!!! isn't that irritating?! i think it is.

And i love the snow... lots of fun... unless you have to drive from 92nd and wads to 52nd and wads to 88th and garrisonish to 20th and wads to 112th and Huron to pomona high school to quay to finally home back on 88th. FUCKING LAME!!! not to mention all the time i spent at each location... haven't been home all fucking day! GRRRR. Lots on my mind about worthless shit... tired, headache, hungry and now leaving again to go to the grocery store. WooT wOOt for me  i'm sure you'll hear more whining from me later but for now i'm out....

... sherbert pervert and the adventures of the dumb fucking snow people...

Originally published on my myspace blog on the given date*